Monday, December 6, 2010

Day 32

After today's news, Steph and I were eating dinner at the Inn. I asked her, "So what good news did we have today?" It took a minute, but here it is. The doctor told us that as far as her lungs are concerned, she wanted to say it was better. She said that is has only been 48 hours since the last CT, and she really wanted it to be better so she thinks she's seeing it be better. Someone else will have to tell you it is better. They didn't have to intubate her. You might ask how has it come to this. Last night and this morning her breathing is heavier and for longer periods of time. Her shaking has increased. She isn't opening her eyes much. You really need to loudly get her attention. She's not really sleeping all day just looks like she is. She's just laying there shaking & breathing heavily, eyes closed. Besides the CT of the lungs, the head, abdomen, and pelvis were scanned. They found an ileus which is an obstruction of sorts in the intestine. It is part of the GVHD. It could become a problem. She cannot eat or drink because that could make it worse. The hope is that it won't get worse. If worsening occurs, then they would be compelled to start a higher dose of steroids which would not be good for the brain infection treatment. After the scans this morning a lumbar puncture was performed. Because she was worse, the suspicion was the infection was worse. Sure enough, it revealed an increase in the infection in the spinal fluid. The supposition is that the med is not effectively crossing the blood/brain barrier. The other drug which treats this infection has been added. It's side effects are not good. They carefully weighed the benefits and risks. At this point, the main goal is to treat her brain. Basically, I was told that if it means losing a kidney to get Kelsey's brain back, then so be it. We all agree we want her brain back. She had a MRI this afternoon. I haven't heard about it. It's been a lot to process.

As long as I process in my head, I do pretty good. I keep trying to deal with just the day we are in. No what ifs. People ask me how I'm doing. Well it sucks. I use that word because it is a Kelsey word. I totally get all of it and am not in denial. I choose to deal in the now, in our hope, in faith, trust, positive moments. Your encouraging words help me so much. The prayers you send me help me. The visions & the truths you share help me. I thank God for you, our friends, our brothers and sisters in Christ. That is what brings tears to my eyes. How much we are loved. That is what makes me weep.
Love from a grateful mom,


  1. Dear Tammy and Kelsey,

    I'm sorry I haven't been able to post in the last few days. I have read the blog every day and continue to pray for you both throughout the day and night when I wake up. Tammy, all I can say right now is "Look to Jesus and trust Him completely with EVERYTHING." I know you are.

    I am reminded of when my husband was first (incorrectly) diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor on the brain stem. Every time we got worse news I just kept picturing God dwindling Gideon's army down smaller and smaller so that the Lord would get the glory for the defeat which was about to take place.

    I am also picturing Aaron and Hur holding up Moses's arms while they were battling the Amalekites. My oldest daughter and I will continue to hold you and Kelsey up to the Lord in prayer until she is healed. We are praying for all of your family but especially Kelsey right now.

    Father in heaven, we come to you in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. First of all we praise you for all of your provision and your blessings. We praise you because you are sovereign, and you are perfect in ALL your ways. Therefore we even praise you for what Kelsey is going through right now. We don't understand it, but we have complete faith that you have her hidden in the cleft of the Rock and beneath the shadow of your wings. We beseech your throne Lord on behalf of Kelsey. Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we pray for her complete healing. We pray that each and every day there will be improvement. We pray that you will completely heal her of this brain virus. We pray that she will have no lasting negative effects in her brain, her memory, her thinking or any of her functions or abilities. We pray that you will completely rid her body of all infections, viruses and fungi. Lord, we pray that you will be glorified through this suffering that Kelsey and her family are enduring. We know you have prepared the way before them and we know you are their rear guard. You have them hemmed in behind and before. We rebuke Satan in the name of Jesus Christ. Bind him completely where Kelsey is concerned. Don't even allow him and his demons to discuss her. Lord, give her this day what she needs. Give her tomorrow and every day after that exactly what she needs for that day. Lord, I pray the same for Tammy and the rest of their family. Give them each day what they need. Thank you for being ever-present with them. Thank you most of all for Jesus Christ, the author and perfector of our faith. We rest in Jesus for there is no where else we could go. He is our everything and our all. We praise you Lord Jesus. We praise you Father. We worship and adore only you. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

    One more thought, Tammy. If you get like I have been before and you don't know what else to pray or what else to do, just read the Psalms and praise the Lord over and over and over having complete faith in Him and all His promises.

    With love in Christ,

    Denise R. from Texas

  2. Amen and Amen - so be it Lord. Thank you for Your promises in Matthew 18
    18 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

    19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

    Healing be loosed in Kelsey's body. Things that seek to destroy be bound. Joy and peace be loosed in overflowing measure. We agree that you worthy oh Lord at all times. We agree you are able. May our faith become sight in Jesus Name.

    love you all,