Thursday, December 2, 2010

Day 28

It's been 4 weeks since we began this new cell journey. We expected infections and complications just didn't envision all of this. It wouldn't have changed our decision. She wasn't living a life, breathing and being yes, but not living so this was her chance. This is a lot to handle. Fortunately she doesn't know what she is enduring. Me, however, am experiencing a less than hopeful day. She had a CT of her chest this morning which revealed what looks like a nasty fungal infection. It is probably considered the worst one. It isn't confirmed yet. They went ahead today with a triple team of doctors in the OR. First the bone biopsy, then the endoscopy, finished with the bronchoscopy. Maybe more answers tomorrow. Meanwhile started the drug to treat the fungus. I've had these scenes of her dying, then battle them with the vision of her speaking in front of the crowd in a white lab coat. I know that God can heal her and listen to all the hopeful, encouraging words from you all which helps me so much. Today was tough. So you can all hope for me. She has gone 4 days & 3 nights without sleeping. She has finally closed her eyes for going on 15 minutes now. She needs the rest. She has been less perky and bubbly today. They will be starting physical, occupational, and cognitive therapy soon. This will help keep her muscles from atrophying, her hands busy, and her brain exercising. Sister Debbie came today and as always to my rescue on this less than happy day. She came bearing a chocolate milkshake which I have been requesting for awhile, soup, salad, and bread from Panera. It is good for the soul; it has to be. Oh, and a cute little fiberoptic tree which brightens the room, some stuffed Christmas animals(the moose sings), and a chocolate advent calendar. A chocolate and scripture a day must be good for the soul, too. She brought Kelsey the chicken fries she likes, but currently isn't allowed to eat them. She gets one more day, then their mine. (She cannot eat food that is more than a day old.) Friends we've made here have been visiting us. This is encouraging and supportive. That is all I'm good for today. Thankful as always.


  1. Tammy, my prayers are with you as a Mom. I pray for you in those helpless, confusing moments. I pray for you in the moments where you cling to hope, but fear of death is gripping ( not in the eternal sense, but you've been waging a heroic battle for life--not desiring death). Only the Lord knows the outcome. I pray in each moment you sense his presence. I pray there might be a song in your spirit that will minister to your soul and spirit, to bring peace, hope and comfort no matter the moment.
    I am standing on James 1:12 for you guys: Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life.
    I see Kelsey with a crown of life.... I guess we wait to see how the Lord brings about her crown of life.
    Rosemary Kirby

  2. Tammy, I am praying for you as a Mom, and how painful it is to see your child suffer. I pray that somehow the Lord is present, with a song in your spirit, or a word of comfort. I am still standing on James 1:12 : Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
    Because of the word, I know Kelsey has attained a crown of life. I still hope we can celebrate with her here as she enjoys it. I will prayerfully wait with you to see how things unfold.
    Rosemary Kirby

  3. I haven't been here all week. I came to catch up so I can pray more specifically. I feel devastated with you! I am so sorry that this has happened. I will be praying and reminding the Father that Kelsey needs his healing balm.

    I heard an amazing story on KLOVE a couple of weeks ago. It's the story of a young boy who was in a car accident with his father. He saw his father thrown from the vehicle. He said there were 5 angels carrying him. The 6yo boy was internally decapitated and is paralyzed for now. He tells stories of his time in heaven (while his body lay in a coma). He said when he was carried through the gates of heaven he was told that his dad was speaking with God. God was healing his dad. His dad came back to earth and woke near his car~ unhurt. He doesn't remember ever being in heaven. They say that all the boy told about his time in heaven lines up with scripture, although he was not old enough to have known that. You can find a bit more of their story online and the first chapter of their book at theboywhocamebackfromheaven dot com.

    For me, this boy's story has been such an encouragement. I hope it holds some encouragement for you as well. Who knows, maybe the spirit part of Kelsey is reclining with God while He administers his healing? Either way, I just know that He is working a mighty testimony for His Glory, and He is using your family to reveal it. Cling to Him, sister (and family), and know that you are not standing alone.