Monday, January 31, 2011

Day 88

This blog brings a huge heavy heart. Kelsey went to the ICU around 2:00am. She had very low blood pressure and needed oxygen. Early this afternoon she went back into the operating room to look at the gut, sinus, and lungs. She is not doing very well to say the least. She has been intubated and is on a respirator. Her blood pressure has not stabilized. She is in septic shock with multi-system organ failure. This looks very grim, however, has she not survived the last crisis with a miracle. So I am pleading again for that miracle to bring her back. The next few days are critical. If they can stabilize her, they can move forward with chemo and the transplant. It was unique today in that when I told her she was going to the OR she usually asks to be drugged real well. This time she told me she was scared. I asked her, "Scared of what?" She said she didn't know. I told her there were only two outcomes...either she would come back to me or she would go home to Jesus. She said that she would like to go home to Jesus. This made her smile. I am grieving, somewhat already feeling a loss, but I haven't lost her yet. I know that God is in this. Medically, it does look grim. This is still when Jesus shines the best. I am glad that Kelly and Angie are here. I feel conflicted about whether to spend the night at the hospital with her, but I know that I cannot go without sleep if I am to help her fight in any way. She needs me. I know that even when she is sedated she can hear me. Pray for wisdom. Tracy is making plans right now to come out ASAP. The kids will remain home. I am a mess, need strength and reassurance. I cannot finish this right now, so all I can say is pray for a miracle.
Love,
Mom

24 comments:

  1. Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we pray that you will heal Kelsey, completely. We know that You are with her, Lord. May each one of her loved ones experience your presence with them just as you are present with Kelsey. Your will be done. To you be all glory, honor and praise.

    With love in Christ,

    Denise R. from Texas

    "Heal Kelsey, and she will be healed. Save her and she will be saved, for YOU are the one she praises." from Jeremiah 17:14

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  2. I am praying fervently for the LORD to work a miracle in Kelsey's life right now. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that your hope may overflow by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)

    With love in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,

    -- Taylor

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  3. We love you. Our family spent a good time praying for you all. Our faith is in Jesus. Rest in Him.

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  4. God speed Tracy on his way! After seeing him at school, We were thankful that he was heading your way.
    We three send our thoughts and prayers across the miles. Praying for that miracle, praying for peace, praying for your precious child. Put your trust in him, He is God Almighty! Supreme in all!
    May he hold you in his palm, and cover you with his grace.....
    We three continue our prayers.... For you all.

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  5. "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you..." Isaiah 43 Praying for your peace and the strength of His eternal love to sustain you all. Maggie and the Karner family

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  6. I came across this blog through facebook. I am so sorry for all that you and your family are going through right now. I will be keeping all of you in my prayers. Don't be afraid to let others help you through this difficult time. God will be looking over your family.

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  7. Heavenly Father I pray for Kelsey and her family in the powerful name of Jesus.

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  8. Praying for a miricle to happen and for peace among everyone.

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  9. I'm generally not much of the praying sort, but I've been praying for Kelsey, the whole Koch family, and everyone involved.

    I hope everything works out.

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  10. I pray that god gives you all the strength to make it through this, I know it's very hard right now but things get better I promiss.. May god bless you & your family right now while i continue to pray for you all. Hang in there Kelsey needs you guys!

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  11. The Dawson's are praying with all of you.

    Tammy, Evan & Andrew Dawson

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  12. Dear Jesus~ You know our hearts....you know....please....with all that is in our hearts....

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  14. I have just joined this blog, I found it through facebook. I have been reading through your entries. I pray for you and your family. I'm curious in finding if I might be a match to be a donor, and how I go about doing so. I know you're very busy. Whenever you get a chance, please contact me with any information. Thanks so much.

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  15. I reside in Muncie, and I saw on a friends facebook page to pray for your family. I have read your blog begenning to end today, and my heart aches for you and your family. Know that your prayers are being heard, and that God will not put you through what you can not handle. I will be praying for your entire family during this difficult time.
    Muncie resident...

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  16. Dear Tammy and Tracy,
    we have been praying off and on all day for Kelsey.Praying that God's perfect timing would bring a wonderful miracle..Tonight when I went to bed and was again praying I was prompted to get up out of bed and send you a message.This is sent with love and prayerful guidance.I hope it doesn't hurt you and gives you peace... I am to remind you that the Lord loves Kelsey so much. If He chooses to take her home she will be fine, resting in the arms of Jesus and in the presence of our Holy God..her pain will be over..Maybe its okay to let her know its alright if she has to go..Our prayer is certainly that its God's will to perform a miracle and give her life..but I was told to lovingly reassure you that Kelsey wins in either situation.With Christ's love, Dianne Orr Hartzell

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  17. This is one of those times when their just aren't words. Praise God that we need no special words or phrases with which to approach Him and convince Him. We are His kids and He already knows. His Spirit within us fills in the words for us. Just go to our Father and rest your head on his knee for awhile. He knows! He knows! Praise Him for the blood of Jesus by which we are able to be in His presence here and now!

    Dear Jesus, draw this family so close to you that they can feel your breath on their cheeks. Keep them there while they await your outcome for Kelsey, and keep them their as they use these experiences to minister to others in the times to come. We pray in your name! Amen.

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  18. This is one of those times when there just aren't words. Praise God that we are his kids and we don't need to come before him with ritual, magic words and phrases, or any other pretence. We are his sons and daughters through the blood of Jesus, and the Holy Spirit fills in the words for us.

    Dear Father, our Savior, please enable this family to come into your presence and just lay their heads on your knee. Draw them so close that they can feel your Holy breath on their cheeks. Rest them from the strain. Dry their tears. Keep them there while they await your outcome for their dear Kelsey. Keep them there in the days ahead, too, so that you can enable them to use these times and experiences to minister to others that you will bring to them. We love you, Lord Jesus, and we pray in your name.

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  19. I am praying God heals Kelsey and blesses all of you with his presence and give all of you strength and guidance. Love and blessings to you all, Lori Sims

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  20. You and all of the family are in our thoughts and prayers. Much grace and peace to you all. We are sorry for your loss. Love from Stacy and Bob

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  21. I just heard the news, my heart breaks for all of you. Jesus sure does have a strong angel with him. I pray for strength for all of your family. Lori Sims

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  22. Dear Tammy and Tracy,
    Praying for strength, peace and comfort that only our Father can give.Kelsey was a wonderful, sweet soul and she loved the Lord Jesus with all her heart.Halleluya,,she will be forever with him.no more pain,no more suffering..only perfect peace and love with her heavenly Father..Best part of all you will see her again..
    You have our love and sympathy.We will continue to pray for God's peace in your lives.. Kelsey fought the good fight..Many people will be helped because of things the doctors learned through Kelsey..Many people have been praying for her.. people like Gary and me that you have never met..We are in Phoenix and our whole church is praying..Your story has touched more than you will ever know.People are closer to our Lord because of Kelsey.She has touched lives every where.. How precious it has been to go to the Lord and pray for each of you.. May God be with you and provide every need..Love, Dianne and Gary Hartzell.

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