This blog brings a huge heavy heart. Kelsey went to the ICU around 2:00am. She had very low blood pressure and needed oxygen. Early this afternoon she went back into the operating room to look at the gut, sinus, and lungs. She is not doing very well to say the least. She has been intubated and is on a respirator. Her blood pressure has not stabilized. She is in septic shock with multi-system organ failure. This looks very grim, however, has she not survived the last crisis with a miracle. So I am pleading again for that miracle to bring her back. The next few days are critical. If they can stabilize her, they can move forward with chemo and the transplant. It was unique today in that when I told her she was going to the OR she usually asks to be drugged real well. This time she told me she was scared. I asked her, "Scared of what?" She said she didn't know. I told her there were only two outcomes...either she would come back to me or she would go home to Jesus. She said that she would like to go home to Jesus. This made her smile. I am grieving, somewhat already feeling a loss, but I haven't lost her yet. I know that God is in this. Medically, it does look grim. This is still when Jesus shines the best. I am glad that Kelly and Angie are here. I feel conflicted about whether to spend the night at the hospital with her, but I know that I cannot go without sleep if I am to help her fight in any way. She needs me. I know that even when she is sedated she can hear me. Pray for wisdom. Tracy is making plans right now to come out ASAP. The kids will remain home. I am a mess, need strength and reassurance. I cannot finish this right now, so all I can say is pray for a miracle.