Day 78

Thursday was a tough day. After 6 1/2 hours in the operating room, she returned to ICU. Upon returning her temp was lower than we like, and she was "not with it". It was a 12 hour struggle to return to her normal temp(which isn't normal for anyone else). This is really hard work for the nurse and Kelly and I. Kelly was in a 95 degree room all night. She was so exhausted by morning. I hope that means she has slept well today. I know that I slept better last night knowing she was with Kelsey. It sometimes feel futile because she doesn't know you, but really she needs someone to just be with her, pray for her, and love her. Today she had an ultrasound of her gall bladder and both arms. She has something that looks like sludge in her gall bladder. Both arms have clots. They gave her some good conscious sedation when they put in her new central line. It indeed has 3 lumens. They left the old picc line in because she has so many meds, and it is still working for now. She is resting with more good drugs tonight. The first of the cytology is back from the lungs. It is looking like she has fungus in there. This is really heart heavy news. This grew on 3 fungul drugs. They continue to hope that she can hang on long enough to receive this new transplant. The granulocyte transfusions will continue. When I get this kind of news, I feel so defeated. I know how big our God is and this is the hope for which we put her life in. She is getting tired of the fight. She has said twice in the last 24 hours that she is ready to go home to Jesus. Then, she says she can hang on. Then she says "whatever God's purpose is, is what she is doing." Really that is what it is about. That is what we believe. The suffering she is going through is for God's purpose, and she is all about that. The good news is that she won't remember any of it, at least we don't think so. I feel encouraged by all of you and it makes the journey more bearable. Singing Praises to God every day.
Love,
Mom