Thanksgiving Day was wonderful. We shared a meal with immediate family, uncles, aunts, cousins,and second cousins. Kelsey's favorite was mashed potatoes with gravy. It was a slow beginning that morning. We had planned on leaving at 10:00, but Kelsey was nauseous and her head hurt so she was moving rather slowly. The morning IV meds slowed her down, and then they added one that didn't finish until noon. Fortunately, the meal was planned for 2:00, so we made it in plenty of time. Among the folly for the day, was a well decorated house for my 50th birthday. The girls hooted and entertained themselves with printing pictures of me when I was around 12. They were taped all around the house even the bathroom and inside the refrigerator. After the meal, the boys found the theater wigs and "put the band back together". This was so much fun to watch. Oh, by the way, the other photo's caption is, "Which one is Debbie?" We had so much fun. Kelsey slept much of it, but we took videos of "the band". When she returned Thursday night, her platelets were very low. So premedicated her, and put them in. I was with her until 3:30am. Friday and Saturday were fairly good days for her. However, her neutrophils dropped to 240 Saturday night so she had her shot. Today didn't start out too horrible, but the rest has been very horrible for her. Her counts are pretty good for today, but she has been extremely nauseous, the most since we've been here. None of the nausea meds, dilaudid, or atavan have made it better. She has been puking all day. Finally at 7:00ish, she fell asleep. I had been informing the nurse about this unusual development, finally the resident came in. Eventually, I glanced over at her and noticed that her fingertips are dark purple. I talked with the resident about the unusualness of the day, she called the attending who came in and has seen it for herself. She has conferred with the Pediatric Oncology doc who has seen Kelsey from the beginning. The best guess right now is acute graft vs. host disease. It could be an infection and gvhd. They are treating gvhd with a large dose steroid. Her blood pressure is up. She has hit a fever, but blood cultures were already drawn. The med that was changed on Thursday is restarted for infection. Her platelets are very low again, so more of that tonight. This is going to be another long night. I pray that I will get to sleep for some hours tonight, so I can be a good caregiver. I was already tired today from lack of sleep from family being around...ya know soaking in all the moments I could. She has requested prayer for all things and trusts in this.
Karly and Grandma's flight arrived home as scheduled. Tracy did the mammoth drive today and has made it home safely. Hopefully took a nap, then proceeded on to the airport to collect those two. All should be home as I am typing. We left each other already starting the countdown of three weeks until they return. Tracy and I were able to leave Kelsey on Saturday in the capable care of her siblings while we shopped and enjoyed each other.
As she is struggling through this period, helpless, miserable, and weak, a brief thought comes into my head thinking what have we've done. Then I'm reminded that this decision was the Lord's. Her life is the Lord's. The NOW is the only place to begin anew. Many things are beyond us, but I am still rejoicing in the present. Some of these days are very tentative, some seem more certain, but all are possible to get through with God.
"For nothing is impossible with God" Luke 1:37
Love,
Mom
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