Thursday, February 24, 2011
Day 23-DANCING WITH THE LORD
So, when I think about Karly, what do I think. I think Kelsey made a better way for her. I have to guard my heart from fear, doubt, and every negative attitude for only the strong in heart will prevail. I have to continue to have faith "that God causes all things to work together for the good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Day 21-DANCING WITH THE LORD
For those who are anywhere near the National Institutes of Health, Bethesda, MD. We are having a Memorial Celebration of Kelsey's Life on Feb.28, at 2:00, in The Chapel on the 7th floor of the Hatfield Center, Building 10. You are most welcome to join us.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Day 14-DANCING WITH THE LORD
There are commercials associated with this, just try to x them out as soon as you can.
One of the realizations I learned over the weekend after speaking with a dear friend was how gracious God is. He didn't just go snatch Kelsey away, He brought her into His presence on many occasions. One of the first occasions I can vividly remember was on Dec.26. During the night of December 25, she was in "His presence seeing and hearing many things". She didn't speak of these things until her Grandma entered the room and out of the blue delivered a sight she had witnessed during the night. She had seen Grandpa singing with the Angels. I truly believe that on occasions, He gives people "glimpses into Heaven". Kelsey had a glimpse into Heaven that night. I had asked her about this later because I was very interested in what else she saw. I wanted to know about Heaven and the things she had seen. She simply and matter of factly said that she "saw and heard many things and that only those they were meant for would hear about them." I was in awe. We saw her giggling when there was nothing to giggle about, and many of those times when she was "out of it" she was in His presence. It is really cool to know this about God. She had the choice to stay or go, and actually who would ever choose to stay when you have had a "glimpse into Heaven". You see, this is what makes her homegoing special. Yes, I miss her greatly, her dancing the DDR, her just sitting around, her sharing my shower space(with all her shampoos, razors, soaps), her cooking her special foods, just her. Since I know her desire was to "be with Jesus", then I can rest a bit easier. My mind still wanders to the journey, finding the point when this outcome wouldn't have been so, but you know, it was her time, so nothing was going to prevent this outcome. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 There is an appointed time for everything. The part that torments me is prevention, so this is where I need prayer. I am a preventer...don't put that cup on the edge of the table, or next to your elbow, or don't take that to school...you will leave it. Part of that is wisdom, experience in knowing your child, but part of it is not having to deal with the aftermath. Maybe aftermath is part of the learning...I don't know....just babbling. I KNOW it was her time, but still wanted to prevent it. I want to know things so I can do all I can do right for Karly. I want to protect her. Part of Kelsey going first was just that. She knew it. She accepted that. Learning everything the doctors could so it would eventually be perfected for the next one was part of the plan. Little did we know how difficult this would be. These are the battles of the mind...between trusting God and wanting to take control. I want to know the things I need to know, but put the rest of out of my mind. God knows what I need; I don't. He has been faithful all along this journey. God's plan is not fully revealed so that we can understand it, but we HAVE to TRUST in it. She was so willing to sacrifice for others which breaks my heart because I wanted to live out our dreams, but also makes me so proud of the way she chose to live her life fully committed to God.
Monday, February 14, 2011
What a great celebration Saturday. So many wonderful people all praising God for a life well spent. I want you to know we shared in a time that was exactly what Kelsey would desire and what God smiled upon. We felt saddened by the reason for the event but by the time it was over I could really sense a joy at knowing we had honored God and symbolized just what made Kelsey the person she is.
God truly smiled on Saturday. As this blog goes along, you may see more testimony to how Kelsey continues to influence people. The stories I heard on Saturday inspired me, humbled me, and honored the power of God working through my precious daughter. There were life changing stories of empowerment and joy, hopelessness to transforming new beginnings, and shared joy and togetherness. Yes, you blessed me with tales of a person committed to loving like Jesus and sacrificing for His good pleasure.
Then there was the worship. It was so genuine and uplifting, libertating and freeing. There was a spark of God that kindled a blazing fire. I hope you recieved a saturation of God's smoke. I know I did.
Thanks again for sharing and showing the support you have been all during our rainstorm.
Just a reminder that we are still praying for that perfect match for Karly. We don't know when or if Karly will be dancing in the rain, but God does and will share that with her in His due time. And when he does, Kelsey's dance instruction will surely allow us the steps needed to dance in that rain.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Day 7: DANCING WITH THE LORD!
Tammy asked me if I would write something for the blog several days ago. I have had an extremely difficult time in deciding what to share with all those of you who have been so diligently seeking the latest update on Kelsey. I’m just guessing that all of you were doing the same thing I was, even when I out to NIH to stay with Kelsey during the twelve hour night vigils. The first thing I’d do upon waking was to check the blog or Tammy’s Facebook page to see how Kelsey was doing that day. Many a day I checked in probably 10 – 20 times when nothing new was there. Now that the shoe is on my foot, I wonder how Tammy was even able to put words to the days, nights, ups and downs.
To me, the sixteen days I spent at NIH with Kelsey feel almost holy. Definitely they are experiences hard to share by putting them in words because many are painful and those are better left in my head and brought to the Counselor and One who was there with me. After much thought and seeking God’s direction for what to “share”, there is a definite situation that stands out that I believe exemplifies what Kelsey believed, felt, and experienced the last few days when she had one foot in this world and one foot in eternity.
The Long Night
All night Kelsey had been in pain, some of the worst I personally had seen her experience. However, even in the midst of this long night she had continued to chuckle all night. I couldn’t understand what she was saying when I asked her why she was laughing. On this night, we moved for the last time from the pediatric unit to the ICU. *(If you have a weak stomach, you may want to skip the next few lines). She had just finished vomiting blood again and said that she wanted to lie back down. She did, and within just a couple of minutes she was chuckling again. I asked her again why she was laughing. This time she just smiled and said, “cause I’m happy, I guess.”
That’s why Kelsey was so special!!!! I liked her before I went out to NIH, but definitely came to love her and her fight, determination, and positive attitude. However, it is firmly my belief that Kelsey was getting glimpses of heaven, and it must be just pure delight! She had told me on several occasions that she just wanted to go be with her Heavenly Father and let Him hold her in His arms. It reminded me of the verse in 1 John 4:18 that says, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear….”
Now for a few lighthearted moments I think that you might find interesting. My goal was to make a list of some of Kelsey’s favorite things by asking her one question a night. Some nights, it just didn’t work out to talk about them. The following are the answers to seven of those questions.
Things that are Kelsey’s Favorites
1. Christmas present – her iPod
2. Movie- (series) – Lord of the Rings
3. Colors – green & blue
4. Food – ribs, chicken, broccoli
5. Holiday- Christmas & Easter (Easter ended up winning out)
6. Her favorite thing with her dad – Trading backrubs (they had a deal worked out to give equal times)
7. Favorite pet – her dog, Midnight
The last thing I’ll share is because I just happened to take a picture and maybe you’d like to see her smile on more time. I apologize for the quality of the pictures, but it was dark and taken from my phone.
After noticing that beautiful smile of hers……….. take a look at her socks. The previous night Kelsey woke up and was awake for a while. The only thing good on at the time was QVC. (I hear laughter in the audience!) Anyway, the ladies were modeling some knee high socks of assorted colors and design. Kelsey commented on how she really liked the black ones with multi-colored dots. Oddly enough just that morning I had gone into the gift-shop and had seen these really awesome socks. They had several varieties, but I noticed these black ones with multi-colored dots!!! So of course the following morning I had to go get them for her. She really liked those socks. : )
Written by Kelly Beeson
February 7, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
We said so long on groundhogs day. That's sorta like a hamster isn't it. Anyway, our grief is real. It is hard to comprehend a life here on earth without my Sweet Pea. And it will be hard for sure to count to 7 and not 8 when we do the head count in the van. There are real things, real plans I so wanted to see happen. A dad always thinks of the moment when he walks down the isle, presenting his lovely daughter to be married and gaining yet another family member as they join in the new mix. There were some pretty special events yet to be covered in Kelsey's earthly life. The regret of never having those things is painful. But I am such a pig anyway. I have always gotten so much more out of life then any man deserves. And I will be comforted with the wonderful memories of a perfect beautiful life changing daughter. Kelsey was / is the perfect daughter. I can't wait to catch up just a short time from now when we meet with my Jesus.
So many of you need to be commended during this dance for the beautiful Christian character you have display as you carried our umbrella while our hands were full, guiding us lovingly around deep puddles, and offering us such kind shelters in this storm. I will never have enough thank yous to go around. One can only hope our joy can be made complete by our eternal bond we will share. And if you are reading this and don't know of that bond, please consider the weather man (Jesus)! For without Him, I would be so lost right now, but with Him, I have Joy, Hope , safety, security , and a future of praise. Tammy and I love you all and truly can't wait to hug you all around the neck. I know for some of you that will be soon, but for others, that hug may be in heaven. But a hugging we will go!!!!!!