Kelsey began Day 1 on Wednesday Feb. 2 at 5:17pm. Today was to be the beginning of her new fight. It is sad we didn't get this opportunity, but then again, as we trust our Heavenly Father, I can only think that He just spared her more suffering. The toughest time for me right now is not falling asleep, because I am tired at night, but after 4 hours I awake with awful questioning of what took her, what will the autopsy show, could it have been prevented, and these struggles continue for hours with me praying for these thoughts to stop and put my mind at ease. The answer to these thoughts will not comfort me, at least I don't think so. I am an analyzer and a planner, and this was so out of control for a long time. Somehow I keep wishing I could go back in time and find that moment when this would have been reversed. But that is not how life goes. You can only work with what you have in that moment. The doctors are not all-knowing. I have to remember that God could have left her here and instead He took her home. When I gave Kelsey her two options that would pan out after surgery, her sigh of relief and choice to be with Jesus has helped me so much. I have accepted this and know that God is sovereign. It was best for Kelsey. The void is so big. Kelsey was so big in life. She chose to donate her body to NIH a long time ago. We honored her wishes. She wanted to help other Dock 8 patients and this was one way to do it. She always loved science. She wanted to be a doctor, but her health wouldn't allow this rigorous course. It is amazing to me that she taught the doctors and nurses here so many things with her enigma-like disease. The vision shared awhile back on the blog about Kelsey standing in front of a bunch of doctors wearing a white robe has truly happened. Not as we imagined, but as God intended. People asked where to send flowers. This really is not necessary. I would rather money spent would help Be The Match because we still need a perfect match for Karly, or to just help us with whatever we feel led to do in Kelsey's honor. The Celebration of Life for Kelsey will be at Union Chapel Ministries, 4622 N. Broadway, Muncie, IN 47303 on Saturday, Feb.12 at 11:00am in the sanctuary. If her story has touched you, we want to meet you; share the good news with us. I am leaving NIH soon to travel home to be with the family tonight. Pray for strength, safety, and joy as we grieve, yet celebrate the happiness she brought to us.