WOW! We, as a family, were blessed by Kelsey's Celebration of Life on Saturday. If you weren't able to share it with us on Saturday, you may still be able to view it on the web at: www.livestream.com/kelseykoch
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One of the realizations I learned over the weekend after speaking with a dear friend was how gracious God is. He didn't just go snatch Kelsey away, He brought her into His presence on many occasions. One of the first occasions I can vividly remember was on Dec.26. During the night of December 25, she was in "His presence seeing and hearing many things". She didn't speak of these things until her Grandma entered the room and out of the blue delivered a sight she had witnessed during the night. She had seen Grandpa singing with the Angels. I truly believe that on occasions, He gives people "glimpses into Heaven". Kelsey had a glimpse into Heaven that night. I had asked her about this later because I was very interested in what else she saw. I wanted to know about Heaven and the things she had seen. She simply and matter of factly said that she "saw and heard many things and that only those they were meant for would hear about them." I was in awe. We saw her giggling when there was nothing to giggle about, and many of those times when she was "out of it" she was in His presence. It is really cool to know this about God. She had the choice to stay or go, and actually who would ever choose to stay when you have had a "glimpse into Heaven". You see, this is what makes her homegoing special. Yes, I miss her greatly, her dancing the DDR, her just sitting around, her sharing my shower space(with all her shampoos, razors, soaps), her cooking her special foods, just her. Since I know her desire was to "be with Jesus", then I can rest a bit easier. My mind still wanders to the journey, finding the point when this outcome wouldn't have been so, but you know, it was her time, so nothing was going to prevent this outcome. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 There is an appointed time for everything. The part that torments me is prevention, so this is where I need prayer. I am a preventer...don't put that cup on the edge of the table, or next to your elbow, or don't take that to school...you will leave it. Part of that is wisdom, experience in knowing your child, but part of it is not having to deal with the aftermath. Maybe aftermath is part of the learning...I don't know....just babbling. I KNOW it was her time, but still wanted to prevent it. I want to know things so I can do all I can do right for Karly. I want to protect her. Part of Kelsey going first was just that. She knew it. She accepted that. Learning everything the doctors could so it would eventually be perfected for the next one was part of the plan. Little did we know how difficult this would be. These are the battles of the mind...between trusting God and wanting to take control. I want to know the things I need to know, but put the rest of out of my mind. God knows what I need; I don't. He has been faithful all along this journey. God's plan is not fully revealed so that we can understand it, but we HAVE to TRUST in it. She was so willing to sacrifice for others which breaks my heart because I wanted to live out our dreams, but also makes me so proud of the way she chose to live her life fully committed to God.