Tammy asked me if I would write something for the blog several days ago. I have had an extremely difficult time in deciding what to share with all those of you who have been so diligently seeking the latest update on Kelsey. I’m just guessing that all of you were doing the same thing I was, even when I out to NIH to stay with Kelsey during the twelve hour night vigils. The first thing I’d do upon waking was to check the blog or Tammy’s Facebook page to see how Kelsey was doing that day. Many a day I checked in probably 10 – 20 times when nothing new was there. Now that the shoe is on my foot, I wonder how Tammy was even able to put words to the days, nights, ups and downs.
To me, the sixteen days I spent at NIH with Kelsey feel almost holy. Definitely they are experiences hard to share by putting them in words because many are painful and those are better left in my head and brought to the Counselor and One who was there with me. After much thought and seeking God’s direction for what to “share”, there is a definite situation that stands out that I believe exemplifies what Kelsey believed, felt, and experienced the last few days when she had one foot in this world and one foot in eternity.
The Long Night
All night Kelsey had been in pain, some of the worst I personally had seen her experience. However, even in the midst of this long night she had continued to chuckle all night. I couldn’t understand what she was saying when I asked her why she was laughing. On this night, we moved for the last time from the pediatric unit to the ICU. *(If you have a weak stomach, you may want to skip the next few lines). She had just finished vomiting blood again and said that she wanted to lie back down. She did, and within just a couple of minutes she was chuckling again. I asked her again why she was laughing. This time she just smiled and said, “cause I’m happy, I guess.”
That’s why Kelsey was so special!!!! I liked her before I went out to NIH, but definitely came to love her and her fight, determination, and positive attitude. However, it is firmly my belief that Kelsey was getting glimpses of heaven, and it must be just pure delight! She had told me on several occasions that she just wanted to go be with her Heavenly Father and let Him hold her in His arms. It reminded me of the verse in 1 John 4:18 that says, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear….”
Now for a few lighthearted moments I think that you might find interesting. My goal was to make a list of some of Kelsey’s favorite things by asking her one question a night. Some nights, it just didn’t work out to talk about them. The following are the answers to seven of those questions.
Things that are Kelsey’s Favorites
1. Christmas present – her iPod
2. Movie- (series) – Lord of the Rings
3. Colors – green & blue
4. Food – ribs, chicken, broccoli
5. Holiday- Christmas & Easter (Easter ended up winning out)
6. Her favorite thing with her dad – Trading backrubs (they had a deal worked out to give equal times)
7. Favorite pet – her dog, Midnight
The last thing I’ll share is because I just happened to take a picture and maybe you’d like to see her smile on more time. I apologize for the quality of the pictures, but it was dark and taken from my phone.
After noticing that beautiful smile of hers……….. take a look at her socks. The previous night Kelsey woke up and was awake for a while. The only thing good on at the time was QVC. (I hear laughter in the audience!) Anyway, the ladies were modeling some knee high socks of assorted colors and design. Kelsey commented on how she really liked the black ones with multi-colored dots. Oddly enough just that morning I had gone into the gift-shop and had seen these really awesome socks. They had several varieties, but I noticed these black ones with multi-colored dots!!! So of course the following morning I had to go get them for her. She really liked those socks. : )
Written by Kelly Beeson
February 7, 2011