The past week has had its moments of crying. I have these moments when I feel the absence of her presence. Moments like renting a movie to watch without having her there. She loved watching movies. Going through her room at random times looking for something one of the other girls could use makes me miss her. Thinking about what to do for Spring Break because she usually went with us. Getting ready to return to NIH where she and I spent so much time. Thinking about what could have been. When I really think about these things, it is really about self-pity. I want her with me. I am missing those moments we dreamed of. When I focus on God's plan, God's timing, God's healing of her, seeing her dancing in Heaven, that is when I don't feel sad. I just read the book "Heaven is for Real" by Todd Burpo. It is an uplifting book. It confirms for me the beliefs I have of Heaven. Of the reality, Kelsey is living in her glorious new body. She is so happy. She had those glimpses of Heaven. She knew what was waiting for her. So I have a choice to live in deep dependence in Him or live in despair(the hurt of not holding her and having her here). It really is so simple...I don't mean to live it but to choose it. Living a Jesus-centered life is not necessarily easy. In fact, we are called to a higher standard. Kelsey got it. Her life oozed Christ. She never had anything easy, except maybe dance. It came easy to her, but it was painful at times. She reflected Christ because she knew her mission; she knew who she was in Christ. She ran the endurance race and ran it completely to the end. We are all in a race, so let us do it to reflect Christ. If you want to hear an inspiring, encouraging sermon, go to unionchapel.com, media resources, sermon for Feb. 20: Facing the Future. It was awesome, practical, and something to strive for everyday.
For those who are anywhere near the National Institutes of Health, Bethesda, MD. We are having a Memorial Celebration of Kelsey's Life on Feb.28, at 2:00, in The Chapel on the 7th floor of the Hatfield Center, Building 10. You are most welcome to join us.